thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
