Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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