Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
