I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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