youre lurking in front of me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
