he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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