took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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