so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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