May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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