Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
