did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
