New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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