using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
