i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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