Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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