I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
