woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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