First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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