i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
