I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
