The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
