I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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