ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
