How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
