I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
