I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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