So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
