Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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