At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
