a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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