My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Vodka?
Forever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
