so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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