I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
