If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
