You're completely useless in the revolution.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
