Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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