is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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