she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Randomize