he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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