Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why do cheetos always look like penises
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
