i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
