I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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