I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
