Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
pray to the hookup gods
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
