oh fat girl friday strikes again...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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