oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
