yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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