dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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