You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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