No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
