why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
